You debuted at 20 and then went missing. What happened?
I was born and brought up in Mumbai, but sent to London to study at Millfield school when I was in Class 8.This was 2000 when I would have to go with a gunman to the classroom as my dad was under severe threats from the underworld. In London, I took to doing theatre and Shakespeare in a big way. It is one of the finest schools in the world. I had the most amazing experience of my life. After London, I went to the New York Film Academy and did my diploma in direction. From the time I remember, I wanted to be a star but I loved food, as a result of which I was 5'11'' and 125 kgs. I could eat two pizzas and six packets of chips at one time. I was an obese Indian who was always bullied in New York till one day I saw myself in the mirror and decided that I would lose weight and I lost 50 kgs and returned to India. Mr Ajay Devgn saw me at Perry's and I got my first break in Haal-e-Dil. I had gone on trust, but came to know only later that I actually had two lines and one song in it. I knew that my launch was ruined. I remember crying to my dad on the phone. I was lucky that the Bhatts were so kind that despite Haal-e-Dil, they cast me in Raaz 2 that did well and then Jashnn, which was a flop. Post that, calls stopped and I sat at home for the last four years.
Last four years must have been tough for you?
Yes, it was very tough. Right from the age of 15, I have wanted to do well for my parents. I do realise what my parents have done for me. It was not easy for my father to send me to Millfield paying 40 lakh every year as just the tuition fee. It's not that he is a billionaire. He worked really hard to send me there and gave me whatever I wanted in life. Today, after being in the industry, the thought of not doing well is not about not being a star or not owning a bigger car. It troubles me as I have been at home for four years, not made money and have not done well in my life. My parents are selfless and will never tell me but I want to do well for them. They feel sad that I have not got my due till date and was written off after one flop. My mother had this dream of me doing good films, looking good on screen and being presented really well. But that did not happen. It was very frustrating for her seeing me sit at home. From a time after Raaz 2, when my phone would continuously ring, it stopped ringing. I stopped meeting people and partying. I had only two friends. One my gym trainer Sonu Chaurasia and the second, Ariana Ayam from New York. She has come for the film and will go back after that. There were many times when I felt it was a dead end for me in my life but my dad never gave up. My mother always wanted to see my father as this movie star. Of course he became this big television star but she has always dreamt of me being a big star. Even though he became a big television celebrity, I feel given his talent, he did not get his due as an actor. As an actor, I am an extension of my father. If Heartless does well for me as an actor, I feel even my father will get his due as an actor apart from being the director of the film.
Your affair with Kangana Ranaut got you more eyeballs than your work.
I started dating her two months after shooting for Raaz 2 and we dated for exactly one year from April 1, 2009 to April 1, 2010. We broke up just before the release of Jashnn. Though our relationship was that of a normal young couple, it was written about as being a relationship where I was riding on her celebrity status which in reality was completely untrue. Being written about as the girl in the relationship made me angry. Nobody gives you a film because you are someone's boyfriend or a big father's son. You get films basis your talent. We broke up as we decided that we both needed to focus on our careers. She is the man in her house and is bold and upfront. She has come from Himachal Pradesh, knows nobody and has done so well for herself. I too felt that love and things like that can happen later in life but at that time I needed to focus. I was only 22. We did not break up all of a sudden but it was a concerted decision taken by the both of us over two months. A breakup is always tough as you get used to a person over a year but we were both clear about focussing on our lives and have never met after that. I had lot of expectations from Jashnn, but it did not do well. My father gifted me a 7-series on my birthday just before the release of Jashnn as he was so overwhelmed seeing the film but I was branded a spoilt brat. It hurt me so badly, that I sold my car at a throwaway price. It was my first car and my prized possession given to me by my father from his heart and I cherished that. I still remember that day when that guy came and took it away. I thought to myself, 'Maybe it is time for me to buy a car for my dad.'
What made you apologise to your father after your breakup?
I said sorry to him as I had been defiant and had not listened to him. My dad had told me, 'Even if she is the nicest person in the world, you are lucky to get a break in the film industry. Don't ruin it for yourself. Do whatever you want to do but after building your base, you will be on autopilot. But if you mess up while taking off, you will take a long time to take a flight again.' And that's what happened. I sat at home. Being transparent in my relationship sent the wrong signals, Jashnn did not do well and it affected my career.
READ: My father is everything for me: Adhyayan Suman
Talk about your relationship with your father?
He is my friend and I am most attached to him in the world. He has always been very cool with me as a father and so, I have shared details of my life with him. I have not seen someone as strong as him. I had given up but he never gave up. He always knows what I am feeling without my having to say it. He will say things that will cheer you. For instance he would tell me, 'Jab Heartless succeeds, you have to gift me a car.' That would just boost my confidence at a time when I would be just sitting at home. There was a time when we felt even Heartless would not be made as production houses wanted to either change the director or the actor, even though they liked the script. I'm scared of what after Heartless if it doesn't work, but I genuinely feel God has a plan, otherwise it would not have turned out to be the film it has and that too, after struggling for three years. While I still have some money out of what I made initially, I feel so ashamed swiping my father's credit card or buying something with his money. The journey of Heartless has made me patient in life.
Your brother Ayush's memory is alive for your parents. What about you?
As a kid, I remember eating with him, playing his video games, but I don't remember my parents telling me that he was ill. When he died, I was sent to my nani's best friend Narayan aunty's house and called back after two days. Of course I was shown his body and never realised what it meant, until one day, due to my habit of opening drawers, I found pictures of that night when they were all sitting around his body. I could not deal with that and still sometimes get flashes of it. I eventually came to terms with it when I was 10. I do remember Ayush bhaiya getting angry with me when I played with his games and shouting 'Adhyayan'. But I never felt neglected even though there were times when I would be sent to my cousin chacha's place or to Patna so that my parents could look after Ayush bhaiya. There was too much love always. He is the angel in my life too like he is for my parents. Every night I will fold my hands and pray to him in my bed. If I am in trouble I will always ask him, 'Ayush bhaiya, please get this done'. I have been doing this since I was a kid. There are nights when I just ask him, 'Please take care of the health of my parents.' I know it is part of nature that everyone needs to go one day, but I can't imagine that.
Talk about your friend and co-star Ariana?
She studied with me in New York. She is an Afghani who is a New Yorker. In this heartless world, she is selfless and she is a friend who has been there for me and my father and has helped us at a time when we were unable to find a girl of our choice for the film. I had directed a short film with her in it and showed it to my father who loved her. She has come to India leaving her life in the US to be in the film and is brilliant in it.
ALSO: I don't have friends in Bollywood: Adhyayan Suman
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