"I am Perarivalan," says the smiling 41-year-old man in a white shirt, his hair neatly combed back. "There are several men like me in prisons across the world," he says, holding your hand while talking about his 22-year incarceration. "We are victims of a system that hands out disproportionate punishment because we are linked to high-profile cases."
A couple of yards away, Murugan, 43, reaches across the big table to ruffle his mother's hair. The old woman weeps profusely, without making a whimper. "If I escape the noose," says Murugan, who has grown a beard and speaks of repentance and comeuppance in the 'other world,' "I would buy a piece of land at the foothills of a mountain where I would plant 100 flowering plants and medicinal herbs."
The Vellore Central Jail was witness to some poignant moments on Thursday when TOI visited the Rajiv Gandhi assassination case convicts. After Afzal Guru's hanging and the recent rejection of Veerappan aides' mercy petition, the convicts have been eagerly waiting for the Supreme Court's decision on their appeal.
"I know that one day I may wake up to be told about my hanging," says Murugan, the MCA graduate who does the daily puja at an Amman temple in the prison.
Perarivalan, a follower of Periyar, says he keeps himself busy reading, writing and coordinating operations of a jail school.
Shanthan, the other convict in the case is associated with the Sai Baba temple on the premises. "The jail has space for all gods. Here, unlike outside, there is no discrimination on religious or financial grounds," says Perarivalan. He advocates amendments to the Prison Act, 1894 to make jails a place to transform the inmates. Also an MCA graduate, he prepares for an MPhil in computer networking.
Perarivalan, who is charged for his role in procuring materials for the explosive device and visiting Sri Lanka during the conspiracy, was 20 years old when the assassination happened. "As a teenager I had a lot of friends. My dream was to play the Ilayaraja hit 'Ilaya nil' on the guitar," he says. "But I never had the courage to tell a girl that I liked her."
Maintaining he is innocent, he adds, "When my sister was studying in a polytechnic in Vellore, I used to pass by this prison. Never did I think one day I would be inside here." He misses homemade 'chukka roti' and 'sambar' made by his mother Arputhambal, who is now a campaigner against death penalty.
Murugan is worried about his wife Nalini's health. Her death sentence has been commuted to life imprisonment. "We meet for 30 minutes, once a fortnight. She suffers from serious digestion problems and is likely to undergo a surgery. She cries a lot," says Murugan, who is charged with conspiracy.
Staring death in the face for more than two decades appears to have brought on them a sense of balance between reconciliation and hope. "After death we all go into a subtle universe where we can wash off the last drop of sin," says Murugan. The atheist Perarivalan is more poetic about the end when he quotes from Thirukkural: "Urangvathu polum saakkadu, urangi vizhipathu polum pirappu (Death is but a sleep, and birth an awakening.)
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