'Why Shashi’s wife, why not us?' say political divas

NEW DELHI: The four wealthiest grand dames of Indian politics have taken very serious exception to Narendra Modi's comment on Sunanda Tharoor, sources told Mocktale on Tuesday. Modi had singled out Sunanda Tharoor as a "Rs-50-crore girlfriend" two days ago, infuriating the Twitterati who rued Modi's "bad taste". Even more furious were India's four grand ladies, who, while rustling along in their respective silk saris/kurtas, solitaires gleaming in their ears and rubies blazing red around their necks, condemned the fact that they were willfully ignored by Modi despite carrying much, much higher price tags. The foursome alleged political sidelining on Modi's part and said they would not take this kind of discrimination lying down.

"This is intoler-r-r-rable," said Lady Lasagne, with a scowl that once launched a thousand poll rivals. "Most unfair-r-r. Am worth a gazillion lire and my rivals at least know what I'm worth, as much as those who've fallen out of my favour. Modi himself estimated my travel bills at Rs 1880 crore, and now Shashi's wife takes the cake with a mere Rs 50 crore tag?" she rued, picking up her cell phone which continued to whirr noiselessly. The call was from Behn Maya-watan, the big sister from fantasy country. "Hi, Maya-watan," she said, "What's up?" with a heavy accent that made "What's up" sound remarkably similar to "Pizza". A meaty concoction of lasagne was her all-time favourite, though.

The ire in Maya's voice made her forget about food, though. "What is this?" said Maya-watan, who was irked that her "official" assets of Rs 112 crore had been neglected by Modi. "If I can send an empty jet to fetch my sandals, I can send a fleet of drones to wipe off a man who dares devalue me in the open political market," she said, showing off her knowledge of political markets and deals in which she called herself an expert. For once, Maya-watan and Lady Lasagne seemed united in their ire at being undervalued, the impending CBI probe against Maya-watan notwithstanding, thanks to Modi's insensitive jest. This was no mean feat - "Dost bhi na kar paye dushman ne jo kaam kiya hai," sang the happy lady.

No sooner did she put down her little cell phone than it rang again. This time, it was Jaya-lullaby from the prosperous expanses of the rich state of Tamil Nadu. The stately lady, charming in her gait and stature, could hardly control herself. "Why-aiyyo" she said, "did Modi forget my commercial assets worth crores, besides my 750 pairs of shoes and 10000 saris," wailed she. She was visibly upset, er...audibly upset, thought Lady Lasagne. The ladies were united in grief.

They were already in conference, planning it out like the three witches in Macbeth when the fourth lady barged into the conference call. "Hi, humein bhool na jaana," boomed their friend from Bihar. Yes indeed it was Rub-dry Devi, who rubbed in her point by saying Modi had been partial and sexist in his approach by not crediting her with the Rs 950 crore fodder scam proceeds. "If what is Shashi's can belong to Sunanda," she complained, "why can't Laal-ooze money be rightfully mine? Main angrezi nahin jaanti, par main insaan to hoon," she said, in her last-ditch humanitarian appeal.

And The Book of Revelry said: Four women shall rise, like pillars from the four corners of India, and shall bash and banish the Man of a Thousand Fancy Headgears who refused to try the Fez. Fini.

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